Full Name: Taylor Alison Swift D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 13/12/89 (-5) Nationality: American Character Ref: Herself Notes: Country-pop singer-songwriter and apparently actress. No, I muse admit, she was pretty funny on SNL, and in that terrible RomCom my cinema club friends forced me to watch. She's pretty talented, and dammit if her songs aren't just that little bit catchy. Especially that one about Romeo & Juliet - makes me wanna pump my fist.
Raised as a Baptist - now we're getting somewhere. Wrote a 350-page novel over the summer holidays when she was 12. She's got that 'there's something about that girl but i can't quite put my finger on it' look about her. That I like. Must-see Moment: Being basically attacked by Kanye West. No sorry, that wasn't funny. Well it was, but I felt really sorry for her. Her other great moment was dancing like a lunatic in that terrible movie (which Google has just informed me was called 'Valentine's Day' - I just called it 'The Film With All The Beautiful Women In It' which I think would have helped it sell more tickets but hey, hindsight's 20/20....)
Full Name: Lyndsy Marie Fonseca D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 7/1/87 (-3) Nationality: American Character Ref: Katie Deauxma - Kick-Ass Notes: Seems to be a standard child-actress story. Born in B.F. Nowhere, Middle-America, moved to LA to film a pilot aged only 13. Also plays Ted's daughter on the hilarious US sitcom I totally missed the boat on, 'How I Met Your Mother'. Must-see Moment: Seem to remember some point with pyjamas in Kick-Ass that made me forget about superheroes....
So here we are. Hot Trumps' second ever *SPECIAL*, and I don't think there's anyone more deserving than the beautiful, talented, hilarious Miss Ellen Page. With Zooey off and married and being all musically successful etc (not that I'm at all bitter), I think this little lady might just pip her to my own personal top spot at the moment. Of course, none of the 'Trumps' are in any sort of rank order, and I'll keep my own top 10 to myself...
Full Name: Ellen Philpotts-Page D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 21/2/87 (-3) Nationality: Canadian
Character Ref: Juno MacGuff - Juno Notes: I first saw Ellen portraying pedophile-hunting vigilante Hayley Stark in Hard Candy (2005) in which she was amazing (the bits I could watch, anyway....). Quite a baptism of fire, especially for someone as young as she was; there was probably a risk of her being typecast into roles in 'serious' movies. Luckily, she seemed to want to go on to more light hearted and comedic roles. To then go on to play a mutant, a pregnant teen and a roller-derby queen is more than impressive. According to Wiki, which is of course an irrefutable source of evidence, as a child she enjoyed playing with action figures and climbing trees. It's this tomboy nature combined with her animated acting style and sometimes graceful womanly charm that really caught my attention. That, and the quirky, independent, confident roles she seems to have played in recent times. That's pretty much all I want in a girl. Amazing.
Must-see Moment: 'Whipping it' in the movie, er, 'Whip It'. Which also features some of my other favourite actresses/comediennes (Wiiiiig!!).
BONUS ELLEN PIC:
She sports one of the most beautiful wry-smiles I've ever seen. She was hilarious and amazing on SNL, and therefore hilarious and amazing in real life.
She seems to know what she wants in life, at least as far as the movie roles she accepts, and is about as far removed from her 'Hollywood' peers (Lohan, et al) as it's possible to get, which can only be a good thing.
Probably more likely to be found at a Broken Social Scene gig than some sleazy LA club.
I'd love to spend a day with her exploring the museums and galleries of some city, or maybe jamming out on some 80s-era synths, or just kicking back watching a Seinfeld marathon....
Right after I finished this post I discovered the Google/YouTube 'Search Stories' feature. With memories of Ellen still running around my head, and fully expecting somebody to take legal action, I made this:
Full Name: Kari Elizabeth Byron D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 18/12/74 (+10) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Her beautiful, intelligent, charismatic self! Notes: The ultimate geek-girlfriend?? She's an artist by trade, but is best known for her role as one of Discovery Channel's 'MythBusters'. She's married and just gave birth to a daughter (2009). Must-see Moment:THAT Diet Coke & Mentos FHM shoot. Incidentally, a similar scene was observed all over the world after the issue's release, as thousands of teenage geeks brains simultaneously erupted through their various face holes.....
LOOKS: 7.9 PERSONALITY: 8.6 WIFEABILITY: 5.0 (Married. And she's a vegetarian. DEALBREAKER.) X-FACTOR: 7.0
Full Name: Rashida Leah Jones D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 25/2/76 (+8) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Karen Filippelli - The Office (US) Notes: Actress, model, musician. Daughter of music legend Quincy Jones!! Raised in Bel-Air. Was going to be sister-in-law to legendary rapper Tupac Shakur, but the wedding was suddenly cancelled - not quite sure what happened there.... Dated Tobey Maguire; then got engaged to Mark Ronson in 2003 but neither took. Has also dated Seth "SNL" Meyers and John "Jim Halpert" Krasinsky. Is now dating Jon Faveau (no, not THAT Jon Favreau...). Phew, this girl gets around Hollywood (and I mean that in the least insulting way possible....). Must-see Moment: She's hilarious and beautiful putting up with the equally hilarious Paul Rudd in 'I Love You Man'.
Firstly, just take a minute to bask in the beauty.....
wow.....
Full Name: Emilie de Ravin D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 27/12/81 (+3) Nationality: Australian
Character Ref: Claire Littleton - Lost Notes: French ancestry; 'de Ravin' means 'from the ravine'. Took ballet in her childhood. Was cast to star in the movie version of Onimusha..... Did get married but is now filing for divorce. And I'm trying my absolute hardest not to be happy about that. Must-see Moment: Starred as a dead girl in Rian Johnson's brilliant 'Brick' (2005), but tugs at the heartstrings just right as pregnant castaway Claire in Lost. I shouted 'you idiot!' at my TV when Charlie's drug problems caused their relationship to crash and burn....
Full Name: Nicole Evangeline Lilly D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 3/8/79 (+5) Nationality: Canadian
Character Ref: Kate "Freckles" Austen - Lost Notes: Born into a devout Christian family, she briefly served as a foreign missionary in the Philippines. Speaks French. Once had a job as a flight attendant (with Royal Airlines, not Oceanic...).
Wikipedia reckons she's '...known on the Lost set for being a tom-boy, Christian and 'potty-mouth'...' - pretty much my ideal woman then.... Must-see Moment: Looks great in a dress - see Season 3....
Full Name: Marisa Tomei D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 4/12/64 (+20 - yeah, I know....) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Pam - The Wrestler Notes: I caught that episode of Seinfeld today where George gets set up with Marisa Tomei and....look, I don't care if she's 45, she's beautiful. Look!
I found her picture on an interesting list of +40s Hot Trumps... Many of them would easily make it onto this list... check it out and see what you think!
Full Name: Olivia Jane Wilde (born Olivia Jane Cockburn) D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 10/3/84 (+7 months!) Nationality: Irish-American
Character Ref: Alex Kelly - The O.C. Notes: Originally auditioned for the roll of 'Marissa Cooper' on the O.C. Currently stars in that show House with that retarded bloke off of Blackadder. Was apparently shooed to bed by Mick Jagger as a child - not as unseemly as it sounds... Married Italian-American documentary filmmaker, photographer, flamenco guitar player, and Italian prince 'Tao Ruspoli' in 2003. Used to be a Vegan but has now seen the error of her ways. Good girl. Must-see Moment: THAT bit in the O.C. You know which bit.... The day a million teenage boys' heads simultaneously exploded.
LOOKS: 8.8(i pulled the above image off her wiki page - it's 100% less flattering than anything on Google Images and yet somehow she's 200% more beautiful....) PERSONALITY: 8.0 WIFEABILITY: 2.3 X-FACTOR: 7.9
Full Name: Autumn Alicia Reeser D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 21/9/80 (+4) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Taylor Townsend - The O.C. Notes: Graduated Carlsbad High (I've been there!!). Has appeared in Star Trek: Voyager and also in the Command & Conquer series (Red Alert 3). Enjoys scrapbooking, painting, and playing with her Papillon named Gatsby after the F. Scott Fitzgerald classic. I think we'd get on - kinda... Must-see Moment: Being generally 'Taylor-like' in the O.C. - the kind of neurotic control freak that's so annoying you don't know why you like her, but you want to kick your own ass for doing so.
Again, slightly difficult to find a SFW pic of Autumn - here's the one i WANTED to post....dribble..............but why does she need to do that? Look how pretty she is up there^^^!!!
Full Name: Samaire Rhys Armstrong (Welsh??) D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 31/10/80 (+4 - but you would never guess....) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Anna Stern - The O.C. Notes: Born in Tokyo, Japan to a Scottish father and an Italian mother. Has lived in Japan, Hawaii, Arizona, Malaysia and China. Her father teaches soldiers close combat training, so what do you wanna bet he's taught his little girl a few moves or two - approach with caution! I kid - she seems like a barrel of laughs. Quirky. I dig that. Seems quite level headed. Has some sort of Ally Sheedy thing goin on that makes me go all fourteen again.... Must-see Moment: Holding back the tears whilst bidding Seth Cohen farewell to a musical backdrop of Nada Surf's cover of OMD's 'If You Leave' - i cried, i'm not even ashamed, it was a beautiful moment.
Full Name: Naomie Melanie Harris D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 6/9/76 (+8) Nationality: English
Character Ref: Denise - Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll Notes: Extremely versatile actress; graduated Cambridge with a degree in social & political science. Appeared in a children's drama series 'The Tomorrow People' which I watched and loved as a child - had no idea! Must-see Moment: A toss-up - between running from the undead or growing into a giant Amazonian-like woman and then exploding into crabs... like I said, she's versatile!
Character Ref: Jackie Burkhart - That 70s Show Notes: Born in Chernivtsi, Ukrainian SSR, to a Jewish family. Voices 'Meg' on Family Guy. Seems like she'd have a really really good sense of humour - I'd love to take her to see Ross Noble or someone... Must-see Moment: Kicking ass and giving what I consider to be her best performance yet in the visually stunning 'Book Of Eli'.
Full Name: Katherine Litwack D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 13/6/86 (-2) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Norah Silverberg - Nick & Norah's Movie That Felt Like It Would Go On Until The End Of Time Itself (but I kid...) Notes: A local girl - born and raised in Bryn Mawr!!! (Pennsylvania, that is...). Mother is a poet/speech therapist, father is a molecular pharmacologist. Cool.
Is hot on blogging; has YouTube and Twitter accounts. Doesn't drink or smoke, but likes to play Katamari Damacy - so that'd be our honeymoon sorted.... Must-see Moment: Any of her YouTube videos, really. She seems like a good laugh.
Full Name: Kristen Jaymes Stewart D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 9/4/1990 (-6) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Em Lewin - Adventureland Notes: Mother originally from Australia. Is obviously massive now for being in that vampire movie (which has been so successful it's now being novelised). I kid. I wouldn't call myself a Twilight 'fan', but I have seen both of the movies that have been made so far, and CAN say I'm very interested in seeing how fans react to the series. The author seems to have captured that teenage love/lust/awakening vibe pretty well, and were I a more well-read sort of fellow I'm sure I could liken the series to many other pubescent coming-of-age stories before it. I also have a £5 bet on the side that she won't make it past her 21st birthday without being attacked by some boy-crazed 14-year-old who can't separate fact from fiction... Must-see Moment: Playing the 'girl who doesn't get how hot she is' in Greg Mottola's brilliant 'Adventureland'
Full Name: Natalie Jane Imbruglia D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 4/2/75 (+9) Nationality: Australian
Character Ref: Beth Willis - Neighbours Notes: Singer-songwriter, model, actress. Obviously well-known to any UK tweens from the hit Aussie soap 'Neighbours'. Amazing eyes. Must-see Moment: This video for her latest song 'Want' (co-written by Chris Martin...). Amazing. Borderline obscene, but amazing. What a pretty face!!
Full Name: Shannon Elizabeth Fadal D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 7/9/73 (+11!!! no way?!!) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Justice - Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back Notes: Worked as a model before her film career (big surprise). Has been called 'one of the leading celebrity poker players'. Voiced a character in the 2007 video game 'James Bond 007: Everything or Nothing'. Must-see Moment: Probably that bit with the webcam from that film with the pie that I of course have never watched because it relies on crass innuendo to get laughs. But man oh man....
It was kinda hard to find a PG-13 photograph of Shannon which emphasised her best feature, her beautiful smile. She clearly finds clothing restrictive. Par examplé, THIS is the photo I wanted to use....
Full Name: Michelle Christine Trachtenberg D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 11/10/85 (-1) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Jenny - EuroTrip Notes: Mother is a bank manager and father is a fiber-optics engineer. Went to school with Rachel Bilson & Kirsten Dunst (and here's me going to school with the 'fit' one from Liberty-X... no contest....).
Must-see Moment: Pretty hot in that show 'Gossip Girl'.....not that I like it......(i love it..........)
Full Name: Mia Sarapocciello D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 19/06/67 (+17...dont look for pictures of her now...) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Sloane Peterson (of course) - Ferris Bueller's Day Off Notes: An absolutely stunning girl; one of my first movie crushes from the incomparable FBDO. She holds a private pilot's license and has children with the sons of both Sean Connery and the late Jim Henson. Must-see Moment: Having lunch with Abe Froman, the sausage king of Chicago...
LOOKS: 8.9 PERSONALITY: 7.1 WIFEABILITY: 4.9 (if I were 15 years older, perhaps...) X-FACTOR: 6.9
Full Name: Lenka Kripac D.o.B.(+/- Pea): ?/?/78 (+6) Nationality: Australian
Character Ref: Her beautiful self Notes: Has appeared all over Aussie TV; sang in elecro-rock outfit 'Decoder Ring' and is therefore supercool. Must-see Moment: The video for her song 'The Show' displays her at her beautiful best. Love her smile and her PJs at the end. Top class!
Full Name: Kaya Rose Humphrey D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 13/03/92 (-8....close!!) Nationality: English
Character Ref: Effy Stonem - 'Skins' Notes: Hot stuff. Hot. STUFF. Speaks Portuguese. Fashion model (go fig). As long as she's nothing like her Skins character, I'm in. Must-see Moment: Makes a brief appearance in Duncan Jones' brilliant 'Moon' (2009).
Full Name: Claire Skinner D.o.B.(+/- Pea): ?/?/1965 (+19!!) Nationality: English
Character Ref: Sue Brockman (Outnumbered) Notes: I feel I might catch a bit of heat from this one... I'm not going to use any of the usual terms for desirable older women, but I think she is... she's pretty. Good hair (why does it always come back to the hair with me?!), makes a great mother. If she was one of my friends' Mam I'd be over there 24/7. Must-see Moment: Consistently hilarious in Outnumbered.
LOOKS: 7.1 PERSONALITY: 7.8 WIFEABILITY: 6.8(only cause of the age thing) X-FACTOR: 8.5
Can I just say, I'm taking a resonable amount of flack for this entry. To which I say, in the words of Dre,
"...f*ck yall, all of yall; if yall dont like me, blow me!"
Full Name: Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson D.o.B.(+/- Pea): 25/10/84 (+3 days!!) Nationality: American
Character Ref: Musician - she kissed a girl, and subsequently enjoyed the experience. Notes: Born in CA and raised by Christian pastor parents, she has the makings of being my ideal woman. I was slightly annoyed therefore on her somewhat crude entry into the world of pop; I discounted her as being nothing without her slightly suggestive song subjects and expected not to hear from her after that one hit about kissing girls. Nevertheless, I have been constantly impressed with her musical talents which include actually being able to sing live and play guitar, not to mention writing a decent pop-song or two. She's currently dating serial lothario Russel Brand who I like to imagine is actually quite a nice guy when you get past the 'jackass'. So good for her! Here's hoping they have a good effect on each other. Must-see Moment: She looks pretty great everywhere. She's got that pale Zooey look that I like. Great dresses, not afraid to try new looks. Rocks pastel-coloured cardigans and polka-dot skirts - Winner!
Character Ref - The character that first sparked my attention.
Notes - Any other contributing factors.
Must-see Moment - What to watch for more...
LOOKS - Hopefully self-explanatory...
PERSONALITY - Usually refers to the Character Ref's personality, unless media coverage can allow us to ascertain a more accurate idea of the Trump's real life attributes.
WIFEABILITY - The real life likelihood of being able to marry the Trump - graded by location, any knowledge of values, current romantic involvements etc...
X-FACTOR - The little spark that you can't quite define that makes the subject stand out from the crowd.
Please note that while I 'grade' the entries, all Trumps are exceedingly beautiful, talented, exciting women in their own rights and their values shouldn't be taken out of context. Phew.
About the 'game'....
This game has nothing to do with severe flatulence.
Neither is it about objectifying women.
Okay, maybe it is a little... but it's objectifying their greatest and most admirable traits in the most respectful way possible. They are our mothers. They are our sisters. They are our daughters. And, for a lucky few, they are our shorties, our boos, our biznitches. I mean, er, beautiful and devoted wives.......
Seriously though, I (Peanut) have this well-documented thing for Hollywood girls. I also have a well-documented love of neatly organised lists, so this is like my hot girl nirvana.
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